Lost Among a Sea of Words

You know, as I sit here wondering about my future and skimming the books of big-name authors and celebrities taking up the entire page or bookcover…and wondering why no one caters to my subject matter or interests…and why it just seems like, overall, there is no real hope for us indie authors in this big, wide world. Whatever happened to make it this way?

Once, while I was in a slump, I went to a local used bookstore. It was a new store, recently furnished and sparkling neat, which took up quite the bit of space and claimed its dominance of the strip mall as its kingdom–as it stood in the exact place where an earlier bookstore had lain and catered to my imagination before a time I woke each day to fantasies and the call to writing. And, well, as soon as I walked inside, I was struck b the sheer volume of paperbacks and hardcovers–from eras past, present, known, documented, popular, obscure, and lost. And then it hit me. Just how many books are out there? Trillions? Billions? Maybe a couple thousand to each living person? Maybe a few thousand to each human–alive, dead, or otherwise? It’s like trying to imagine the concept of infinity. The very idea floored me and made me a bit dizzy.

But what was even scarier was the fact that I am (or rather will be) trapped in there somewhere–amid that vast sea of words without a sail or any sort of distinction to keep me afloat or gently flowing along at a good enough pace to stay noticed. Noticed once…or perhaps once every new year until, after 80 years, I would have reached shore with the certainty I had been seen 80 times.

And that’s not even counting e-books. Or the books that simply aren’t published but are widely available online or by print via one’s home printer. And–further still–the ones that have yet to take shape as they dance in our and future authors’ minds!

So where does this leave us? How is it possible to navigate through all this fog surrounding us? And how can we assist our readers to do the same? Well, I have seen a few attempts at societies indie authors have formed to try not only to weed the good from the bad and to endorse the future bestselling or fascinating and thought-provoking novels but also to form a kind of family for all of us to fall back on and tie a good community so no one gets lost. Unfortunately or not, these projects are still small and largely unnoticed or unable to be properly funded enough for it to blow up into a bigger, closely-knit, and fully-organized “company.” Many also exist solely online unless you’re talking about your local writers’ group, which is a niche all its own. Or maybe we can focus on creating a little community of our local followers or readers who reap the benefits of our undying gratitude as they help us blossom and grow. This can be an easy feat…such as a “fan club” or website, blog, profile on an e-book site, etc. or even something to the extent as a Patreon account or a Youtube channel.

But there isn’t really an easy answer. We can’t ring a bell and see them all magically come to us like cows to the feed trough (had to get in a Harvest Moon reference). As cliche as it sounds, though, we can’t give up, for those readers, that niche, that opportunity to grow, will be waiting around the corner someday if we try or wait for it. Trying initiates but patience and diligence on one’s work will bring about the results. For now, try making your own little community. Support other local authors and maybe even try to help push up ones you admire or get together with indie authors of your same genre or style. Write, write, write, and submit some stories to contests, post samples online of new books, learn how to advertise on social media without sounding silly or bothersome, offer a sample story or chapter for free to get people interested, and–as always–give back to your loyal followers. Let them know you care! And, as for readers, maybe set up some kind of website or blog in which they can become part of the conversation and receive updates and newsletters or anything of interest. That’s the one thing I find most bothersome about Smashwords.com–I can’t really connect with my readers unless they post a review; and even then, I can’t even tell them thanks!

There are even some writing websites out there which, though flocked to by everyone and sometimes disorganized, can also stand as an outlet–especially if you are looking for constructive criticism or suggestions. If you are just looking for # increases on those little heart symbols, then go to Figment.com (OK. You get suggestions there, too, and you get to interact directly with the teen/YA crowd, but I still like to tease about the whole “popularity contest” thing they have going on).

Other than that, enjoy the ride, and don’t forget to write. (Ha! look how clever that was. I’m writing that down…)



Websites I may have alluded to in this post:

A place that tried to help promote indie writers and edit manuscripts (site not existing anymore? aww)






Is there an “unknown author” society?

Look for “Weekly Ramblings” every week!


Try Something New!

Now that I look back on this year, I realize a lot of crazy things happened. 2014 certainly wasn’t another 2011 (and I’m so glad it wasn’t), and it was the profound parallel to 2012…but, naturally, it was its own era that definitely made a big mark on my life both as an author and as an individual. And if I were to give a label to the 2014 era, I would have to say it is the “year of trying new things.” Oddly enough, not many books or ideas came about this year (especially because my focus was on baking or advancing my career 75% of the time), but the ones that did come will be significant additions to my collection for years to come. And all of them involved something new! At least for me!

They tell you to stay in your comfort zone as a writer–to write “what you know.” And this is certainly true, and it can definitely guide you along the path to finding your author self at first. But as time goes on, it becomes important to discover new things, to be curious, to play around with new forms of verse or writing or concepts. When I write, of course, I take the utterly Romantic approach of letting the words form from me, and I tend not to put much thought into the words themselves (seeing them as “complete” the way they came). Instead, I invest all my time and energy into developing the story and knowing the characters–a process which occurs by daydreaming. Lots and lots of daydreaming. That is to say that the books which take possession of my soul tend to come out of nowhere. And…well…when one comes to me, and it is a little strange and different at first…sometimes I find myself wondering why it came to me in the first place and not someone else. But if I feel compelled enough to take on the project, I end up doing things I normally would not do. Like research!

And boy did I have to research this year. And what’s even stranger is what I ended up spending hours researching and taking insane notes: history! Normally I don’t care for history (especially wars and politics and stuff), but one of the main 2014 novels basically required it. Nah, i shouldn’t say it like that; the truth is I actually wanted to research so that I could better understand the era and how things were back then so that I could explain the series of events and–eventually–revise them to my own accord. Yep. For the first time ever (and probably the only time), I wrote a historical fiction fanfiction book! That is one sentence that, before April of this year, I thought I would never say in my life.

Oh, but there’s more… If there is one thing I love, it is dramatic occurrences. Just those tangible feelings on paper in on screen that just beg you to feel sorry for the character–to, in a sense, take on their pain or long to understand just why that makes them both tragic and beautiful at the same time. I think I’m deranged; is liking stuff like that wierd? I can’t explain why I enjoy things like that–but I do! So, many of my novels tend to be dramatic or just downright emotionally-powerful. But, alas, I decided to put all that aside in another fanfiction (this is the last one), which details the soft, light-hearted ambiance of a slice of life anime without the “feels,” as the internet so aptly puts it. Oh, but don’t worry…I actually couldn’t resist putting in some downright heartwarming/depressing episodes. It is a sickness, I know.

You know what scares me? Horror genre. I can’t stand scary things–especially if they’re full of violence. Except…do you know what influenced the darker side of my current novel? Horror video games! I got suddenly hooked on watching “Let’s plays” of them for about a week (and I still continue to search for them), and the vibe gently seeped into the book… And, well, I don’t mind my new interest so much…it’s just that I have a fragile heart and a quick tendency to be paranoid about everything. So maybe I should kick the habit soon. But the psychology ones are so cool! (Yes…more psychological insanity–my other vice)

And I must admit that FM’s genius (from 2012) has rubbed off on me, for the 2014 trio of books (the one without a title, PW2WC, and These Days That Are) are all very intelligent books by way of their subject matters, composition, and overall ideas. Explaining them is very hard to do, for the plotline is simple, but the overall concepts are so…incomprehensible. I don’t know where these things come from, honestly! Besides the ideas being completely different (maybe even a step up) from my usual brands of “~CRK wierdness,” the books themselves are vastly different from my usual style–with one involving a lot of paragraph changes, another including no chapters in an almost run-on sort of setting, and another being a daily journal without ever indicating that it is!

2014 was a crazy year!

Not only that, but I also finally got to business learning how to write kids’ books, and I even consulted my previous elementary school teachers on the matter. And, to conclude, I once had only ideas for manga come to my mind for about a week. I wish I could draw!!

So what did all that prove? That I’m crazy? Well, maybe…but the main point is that you can never be sure what you may like unless you try it! There are many different types of genres in writing, and there are lots of ways of telling the same story. Don’t be afraid to try new things, write in new styles, or employ new concepts. You can even make up your own style! I know that back in 2011, the cool thing was to write novels in verse style (like poems or unrhyming poems)…then it got to the point where people wanted to write books in multiple perspectives, switching from one to another each chapter (I could never do this one). I wonder what’s next? Plus, you may try something and realize you’re really good at it or that you have a particular interest in it. You never know. Just keep writing!

The next great book is just out there waiting for you!






Very Quick Update

Posted On October 4, 2014

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I updated this site a bit…added some more published works to the “Published Works” page and updated my bio under “~CRK Who?”

Also, just so you don’t get confused…here are my active sites.

This blog!


My Smashwords account, where I self-publish my own works–including free short stories and finished novels


My other blog where I post random things I like (mostly pictures) and send small updates about me


This is where I post things I am working on or small things that I shall not publish yet……

This list is final. I will not be adding any more sites unless I get an actual website in my name…in which case, everything will probably be moved over there. But that will not be happening any time soon!

A Totally Independent Author

Posted On October 1, 2014

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Well, at long last, I’ve returned to writing. I spent the longest time frolicking in the idea of starting my baking career and pursuing those such endeavors like starting a business or getting a job that my writing persona left me for a while. But, of course, none of those goals became anything or got me anywhere, so here I am back writing again. And I’m comfortable to be back steadily writing once more with at least three stories/novels in my handbag.
And what better way to return to my author persona than to rekindle my blog and talk about how I don’t have a persona as an author?

Everywhere I look, I get confused. Every time I research the author market or how to get published, I get confused. Every time I ask myself where I’m going from here and how I’m going to get there in reality, I get confused. And every time I ask myself “Just what in the world is an ‘Indie author’?” I get insanely confused because it seems like there is no answer. (Sorry if you came here looking for an answer, because I don’t have it!)
Look at all these books and e-books flying around in literary space lately! I feel so lost in the mix. I feel like I need to learn how to fly a rocket to get around anywhere! (Obscure “it’s not rocket science” reference/joke) So what are budding authors like yours truly (and maybe even you! Or your dear friends that happened to stumble on my page) supposed to do?
Well, I don’t know about you, but there’s nothing I can do! I’m out of luck!

You see, I’m not your typical writer–or typical person–or typical entity or whatever. Most people (when they find out I’m actually a writer by trade and God-given talent) tell me I should pursue writing as a career, but I must sadly tell them that there is no career to be made! Most sensible people would call me capricious–and that’s with a venomous tone or with a hint of distaste. It’s true after all…I run on feelings. My belief is that the book must be imbued with true feeling or else it’s empty. So that means I rarely force myself to write anything, and if I’m having a bad day–forget it!
But then there are times (like now) where I’ll write nonstop for weeks because I have the “fever” or the inspiration. That is simply when the influence or muse is with me, and I can soar. In a sense, it gets to the point where the current story or book is literally all I can think about every second of every day. I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and have to write something down. I’ll carry the book with me everywhere. I’ll stay up late at night driving myself insane.
Could you imagine if I were like this all the time? Well, there are moments I do wish I were that way…but, as I think about it, I’m really glad I’m not like this all the time. It’s nice to have those “off” times or those moments that solely exist for me to submerge myself in hours of media that will later be processed subconsciously and added to a later story.
(Speaking of which…that’s what happened! I will not say what influenced the vibes of my current novel-in-progress…which, incidentally, is known by me as PW2WC. I will not tell its full title–only the abbreviation)

So, as you sit here staring blankly at the screen while silently berating me for posting this at 8:00 at night (It’s still today!), you are probably asking me (or demanding me to tell you) “What’s your point?! I thought this was a post on indie authors!”
Well…yes and no. This is more a post on what makes an indie author and a totally “writing for fun” author.

There is a sad difference between a career and a fun hobby. And, most of the time, it is that small, simple word “fun.” If I had deadlines and cash sitting at my back forcing me to finish three novels a year, I wouldn’t be having any fun. So, unfortunately, with the way I am, I have to keep this on the “hobby” side of things. Sure I’d love to publish books someday and connect with my readers like any author…but for now, my success level is limited. Plus, the more I read about everything…the more complicated and confusing it sounds!

So what is there for a silly, daydreaming writer to do? Write, of course! Never stop believing in yourself, and find that story you are meant to tell. It is good to take time to polish it or find its true colors instead of rushing through it. It is important, and the process should be savored. Much like making homemade soups or pastries. (Sorry…I’ve been thinking about making soups for a while now…mmmm And I love the cool weather! Time to hit the kitchen and bake up some goodies!)

But…OK…If you insist…here’s what I managed to gather (At least…I think this is how it goes…)

“Indie” authors are simply authors that have been contracted by independent publishing houses–smaller, self-owned places. They do not take unsolicited manuscripts anymore and are becoming pretty strict on what they will take.
Totally independent authors (a term that I came up with just now) are those folks that feel they have something important to say and publish their own stories, books, novels, what have you using their own means and skills. Like me with my account on Smashwords.com. You’re in it on your own.
There are also some publishing houses or companies or websites that allow you to make your own print books (or print-on-demand, but that’s different, too), but you have to handle the marketing and selling yourself. Some places won’t even consider your book unless it’s been professionally edited or unless they like your story.

Basically…it’s complicated! The world is changing, and there aren’t many jobs out there for us English majors anymore. We just have to keep going and to hope for the best…

But my books are too wierd to be understood or accepted by the populous. Especially the one I’m working on now! (Don’t get me wrong, I love PW2WC. But the ideas of my sister 2014 books would make any philosopher faint from shock or maybe even start following me as the greatest mind of today’s age. No really. It scares me)


I have returned! [throws colorful bags of artisan chocolates]
Please expect the following posts to arrive as part of my “weekly ramblings” installments:
“The Legacy of the Elusive One and the Aura of the Melancholic Muse” (about my two biggest influences [and eras] and how their parallelism constantly puts them at odds with each other)
“Everyone Wants to be a Muse” (and how yours truly still relates to the Romantic Era)
“Making a Name for Yourself or For Your Book” (this is another “nonsense” post in which I explain my outlook on being famous and how that changes the light of your books)
“Finding the Connections of Eras” (and why I am now labeling everything I write with the date and/or the era mark!)
[Something about the 2014 sister books?]
[more psychology and fun stuff! I love psychology!]

(I want to make artisan chocolates to hand out at Halloween because I am going to be dressing up as a certain someone this year…)

Yes, I write books. Not 1,000 every day, but I insist that out of my repertoire of 48 novels (and counting!) there will eventually be one just for you. This website shows my published works that you may read at your leisure. They’re free!

In the month of October, my novel (Subtle, Flowing Changes) shall be $2.95 because I am donating 10% of profits to a local animal shelter. Please tell your friends or feel free to buy a copy yourself!

And, for all you inquiring minds, these are the main novels I am working on now…as part of 2014 era:
These Days That Are
{This Book, That Song} [this book doesn’t have a title]

FFR (A side-story of mine that is literally for enjoyment only)

Life in the Shadows
I Have Seen the Future

And, eventually, the short story that will become the next free short story!

(As always, this list is subject to change…and I’m really sorry about the way I am. It’s just me!)

Daily Writing #1

Posted On August 19, 2014

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**I am going to try very hard to keep up with this. I plan to write something totally random for each day and post it online for no reason. I just really need to be more disciplined. Plus, I have tons of story ideas (most of which I have already gone through and separated the wheat from the chaff), most of which I barely care about, so I can write those without any remorse or insanity perfectionism. I shall, because of organizational reasons, be posting these Daily Writings on my random Tumblr blog so as not to flood this literary blog with nonsense. So, here is the first installment..hope you like it even though it is very plain and somewhat boring.

{Stray Cat Story}

*No idea where this is going…just a little idea I’ve had in my head a while. This will probably be a short story and not a book, so this is the first part. P.S. The main character is a girl somewhere in her 20s, I guess. I tend to make all my characters sound like they are only about 12 or whatever. No title yet…

I wish there were some sort of intrigue in my life—someone who really understands me and is willing to put up with my goofy, ironic self.

Everyone tells me I’m lucky to be working in a bakery, but I don’t have a taste for sweets at all—too sticky and syrupy. Of course, that makes me a good employee because everyone else can’t resist swiping a cookie or two or a little frosting here and there. If only they’d wash their hands after, then I wouldn’t mind.

Today is no different. I’m enclosed by the choking and unusual smell of sugar as it flows, boils, and stabilizes. Today I’m stuck decorating thousands of cupcakes with partially-melting buttercream frosting that has to be set in the fridge for 10 minutes every so often for it to withstand the scandalous summer heat. I don’t mind this job very much, for I didn’t have to make the buttercream from scratch today. I don’t know why, but boiling sugar has a very odd smell; it almost makes me dizzy. The frosting, oddly, isn’t as sweet as one would expect, though, for the chocolate they use here is good-quality, bitter chocolate. Plus the chocolate buttercream has coffee undertones, and I enjoy the taste very much.

Inbetween dressing a cupcake with a decorative swirl and transferring frosting to the piping bag, my eyes’ peripheral vision catches a cream-like blob of fur standing resolutely in the open back door. Quickly, I stop—as if frozen in disbelief and paralyzed by the feline’s emerald eyes. The cat doesn’t move an inch—only its tail fluctuates as though dancing in the refreshing breeze. Its fur is like velvet; it is a soft orange color that is accented by thin white stripes from its back to its tail. Its face is both young but full of wisdom—maybe even seeing beyond what the world has to offer. For the longest time, we just stare.

Where did it come from? Why is it just standing there? Is it hungry? I have nothing to feed it!

A blob of softened frosting falls on my hand, and the reality hits me back to my job. I have to finish these cupcakes!

By the time a dozen more cupcakes are properly decorated for the brigade, my eyes wander up, and the cat is gone.


Welcome to my literary blog. I regret to inform you that this is literally the only website I have now because I apparently have no luck with websites. (*AKA* My author website, which was on Blog.com, doesn’t exist anymore) You can find my literary ramblings here along with some facts about writing and structure. The only other sites/accounts which I hold now (relevant to this blog and my author persona) are…

Where my books may be “bought” for free

Where you may make a generous pledge that will be received by me ONLY when I publish a new NOVEL from the main list of novels which I meticulously hold. I promise I will not cheat you and charge for a stinky book or short story.

Which is mostly filled with random pictures of things I like…and will now be full of dumb stories and excerpts I shall be writing each day.

Please consider sharing my writing with your friends and setting aside a small pledge on Patreon for each novel I publish! Please don’t feel bad if it isn’t a lot of money–any amount is special and cherished by me!

Lately, I haven’t been in the mood to write because I plan on working towards my baking/pastry career. I assure you that I will have Step by Step done by next year or at the very least during next year (2015). I am almost done with Fancy Ladies’ Club book one. As for the free short stories, I shall let you know if any of these excerpts or random Daily Writings suddenly make the grade to be finished and published on Smashwords as the next free story. The “winning” story shall be a secret until it is released, though!
I guess what I am trying to say is that forcing myself to write eventually boosts my confidence or introduces me to something I end up liking. Plus I am bored of summer.

CURRENT BOOKS I AM WORKING ON (This list may change at the drop of a hat):
*{This Book, That Song} <<this is a total inside joke tentative title for something even more deep and philosophical than FM's books. And that's saying something [shunned]

Poppet's House for Guinea Pigs (I really really really really really want this to be a manga, but I can't draw)

[the Secret Book from May, 2014] (Yes, still)

Random short stories

*- Counts as a main novel if I finish it

Make Your Own Maryan Book!

Hello… I just published The Adventures of Maryan for free on Smashwords.com, and I felt it would be fun to include this little project for the kids to make. So, here are the means to do so.


Make your own Maryan book!

Make your own book and illustrations!

You will need:

About 36 pieces of printer paper

Some colorful construction paper

Tools to draw and color! (Markers, crayons, etc.)

Stapler with staples or a hole puncher (3-hole punch) and ribbons

Computer with printer

An adult’s help!


The file I am attaching explains it all in detailed and recipe-like fashion in the end of the text. Basically, you print either this convenient document I am giving you or you may print online using the downloadable file via Smashwords. In my humble opinion, you may use either, but I feel the Word file will print more neatly.

Next, let your kids run wild making their own illustrations on construction or colored paper. They may use markers, crayons, or whatever implement they prefer. If, like me, they are wary of drawing, they can also use stickers or online pictures if they wish; you can help with the cutting and pasting.

As for binding the book, make sure the paper is neatly stacked during the whole process. You can use a three-hole punch to punch holes in each individual stack of about five or so pages–make sure the holes line up (This is easy to do with a hole-punch). If you don’t use cardstock, it may be possible to staple through the whole stack of about 40 pages. But you may prefer to sue the hole-punch, as then you may bind the book using thin ribbon with any pattern your child prefers.

Here is a sad picture of mine XD

Does it look like a first grader drew it? If so, then I did really well…for once. That is about the extent of my drawing skill right there.




So, you may now get going on making your own book!

Here is the document for easy printing… (It is in the original font in bigger print)



If you prefer to use my sad-sack cover as seen on Smashwords.com, here is the lovely image file:


Maryan Tile


Happy crafting and happy reading!




Read the book on e-reader or online here!


Media is Plural for Medium (So Says Random Latin)

(I regret to inform you that I wrote this while on my road trip and have thusly edited it while copying it……so it is not entirely impromptu)

I like to watch the analysts’ videos on Youtube because I always find what they talk about to be interesting. They’ve helped me critique my own works and find new ways to look at things. Recently, CloudCuckooCountry posted a new video on a book, and he said something about not writing books as though they are films because they are different media for creativity {ha I know Latin kind of}. And so, I shall be rambling about this today because I happen to–unfortunately or not–think in anime first.

Maybe I’m not really a writer because my mind and soul naturally incline to process everything as an anime. 9 times out of 10, I want to have the whole story completely planned out–from plot to characters to vibes to symbolism & themes. And, yes, that means I must write episode or plot descriptions, which are provided to me by a [usually random] burst of inspiration which–9 times out of 10 (SFC being the most famous exception…ironically)–is a vision-like “movie” or anime-like animation playing in my head as I space out or drive or fall asleep {or rarely dream}. This is what connects most to me in the entire writing process; it is like empathetic projection in that I understand everything the characters are feeling and thinking while the plot unfolds. The images naturally move my heart (I almost always cry for some reason) and inspire me to take on this story that has found me–and thus the planning phase begins!

But, like I said, maybe I’m not a writer because it is really only a compensation; I cannot nor ever will animate, so I figure I must make do writing down the ideas and eventually the book to preserve the ideas and to attempt to capture and recreate the vibes and power behind the pretty pictures and perfectly-toned dialog. And expressions.
But that’s not to say I don’t notice a difference between the media–there’s always something I can’t recreate in either one as I go back and forth to write both the book and the descriptions.

For example, my newest untitled book about something or other {it has not been fully planned yet…I try to break the mold once in a while XD} features kids who are mediums to the feelings and memories of nature, so the book is full of insanity description and wording reflecting the properties of nature and the history of the land as the main character (I forget her name) wanders around. That is to say that the words and phrases used (which are odd and very old-fashioned) tend to mirror what occurred there or what the land represents. That made no sense, but whatever. And so, the anime version focuses instead on the character interactions, for the entirety of the narration and the descriptions of the land could only be presented fully in insane amounts of thinking dialog…or random bouts of wind-blown thinking scenes filled with silence and contemplation.That is to say the book is actually better…except for the random dramatic scenes.
And, as another example, my secret novel project (which is still a secret) is destined to be animated due to the fact that the anime version is insanely perfect and heartwrenching. The accompanying book reads a lot like a memoir or a journal (a lot like Mariah’s book, the last of the SFC Trilogy) with a lot of side-comments and musings. That is to say they hold the same feelings and events…but present them much differently. While the anime version is all about powerful emotions, the book moves in subtle ways and is more like his telling you the story as you sit beside him in the living room with the rocking chair and fireplace in the quiet evening.
Lastly, FM’s books hold their natural genius for which is he famous, but it is equally as intriguing to see the anime versions of his antics, for he is a chair, of course [[slight smile]], so it is only natural that his expressions speak volumes as well as his accompanying musings. {That was a long sentence} And that is all I have to say about that [[shunned]].

And so……….
It’s better to say that I use the visions to help me to write because I can only describe scenes when they are right in front of me. Plus, I know immediately what the vibe of the book/episode/chapter/scene is, so it is already in me. And we all know I need to write when I am in the mood with the feeling flowing through me as though I am the character. (Hence soul songs, which carry the soul of the character)
So, do I think it is better to write a book like a book or a book like a movie? I would say a bit of both. It is good to present the images in a way that people can see them (back then, they were presented in insanely abstract and genius ways; now, it is either insanity description or extremely simple random radio) and gain a little bit of perspective. It is also good to use the writing art to its best by evoking the power of words and their special brands of expression. I am well aware how vague that sounds XD Just remember that we all have our own ways… I am not here to tell you how to write, nor am I here to say that the way you write is wrong…

Except…sigh. Never mind. That’s for another day.

I just realized there are a lot of side-comments in this post…
Here are some more.

OK. I’ll name my pet peeves for writing…
I am most likely to throw a book across the room if…
1- It starts with “Hi. My name is blah. my hair is blah blah blah with blah blah eyes. I don’t remember who I am! Come follow me or whatever if you even care blah blah I’m a teenager so I’m like super smart and stuff.”
Or any stupid intro `a la that style. AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
2- It is another bandwagon book. You know what I mean. BE UNIQUE, STANKIN.
3- It is a “Figment book” or a “Kidpub book” or an “Inkpop book.” Let me expound:
In my days of writing on these websites, I noticed a pattern in each of the books that were put out (not just the popular ones). “Figment books” were books that consist of bandwagon-like stories in a teenager way or books that sound so wonderfully unique, but they start with a teenager in high school or in a club, and I am so totally confused because it sounds nothing like the beautiful description they wrote.
“Kidpub books” are books where each chapter ends with “and then I blacked out” or some random cliffhanger out of NOWHERE.
“Inkpop books” are actually quite good; it’s just that they tend to include random parts of the book where it seems like they literally added this stuff just to say it is a 100,000 word novel. Or to add filler for some reason or another. This isn’t Naruto. STOP WASTING TIME!!
4- If the characters talk like actual teenagers. Yes, I realize I try to be realistic. But seriously; teenagers are idiots (I was, too, so I can say this). I’d rather read a book written by a four-year-old. And that’s saying something.
5- If it is horrendously written or contains so many errors that I subconsciously pantomime the last scene of Romeo and Juliet in which J dramatically kills herself.I do this quite often, as I am melodramatic.
6 through 100- I am too lazy and heartbroken to continue this list.

Random advertising section of this post:
Snads is on Patreon. Did you know? You an now throw money at me to make me shut up! Try it! It’s fun!

I tend to waste time watching these intriguing folks on Youtube…
(Tommy Oliver/BronyCurious)
(CloudCuckooCountry) [newest video: Orson Scott Card’s book, which is the thing I based this post on XD]
(AntonyC because he exists)

Also Nostalgia Critic, Cinema Sins, and other people that spend their days picking apart things that we normally wouldn’t notice or are blind to XD

P.S. I write novels even though I can’t make videos or draw…
AND THEY ARE FREE NOW~! So that means you can read them~! Please read my books~! This is me singing grandly like Big Brother does~! Because I recently have become so obsessed that I have started acting just like him~!
Gardens~! [spins]

Also, this is the worst post I have ever written XD Sigh

Ah~! Sekaiteki a ra modo~!

An Important Update

Ah! I’m so confused; the formatting and page has totally changed!!

Sigh. Well, here I am again. I have finally (FINALLY) regained my wings and have flown away from the chains of depression. So I am writing again! I am working on finishing Step by Step this year…hopefully by December at the latest. I am halfway done with writing, and revising won’t be too insane as it was in SFC.

If you’ve been by my Smashwords page lately…you’ll see that all my books and stories are free now. That is because I started a Patreon account! Patreon is a lovely thing that allows anyone to become a patron of the arts and to support their favorite creative individual in a small but monumental way. If you click the link below, you can set up a “pledge” to support me for each novel I finish and publish on Smashwords for absolutely free. With each novel release, you can pledge $1, $3, $5, or any generous amount of your choice. Keep in mind that conventional novels these days in paperback go for $14.95 or more, so this is a real steal and a really great way to show an author or artist you care. No worries about false charges or anything like that; you can even set up a budget so you don’t break the bank. (Not that I’m going to finish 20 novels a day)
Here is the link for your interest…

Any amount or consideration will be held dear to my heart and force tears of joy from my eyes.

Yes, I am still working on the free short stories I have been publishing for everyone. I have a bunch of random small ones that I may compile into a little book that I shall, of course, make totally free. Please look for this soon.

As for the kids’ books…I have finished one, but I feel remiss to publish it without illustrations, for that would be fun for the kids to see. But…I cannot draw for anything, and my illustrator has been busy with work, so I am stuck at the moment. I promised/planned to have one (“The Adventures of Maryan”) out in July, and I shall stick to that plan…unfortunately sans illustrations. I hope you will not mind this; the kids at my local school seemed to love it even without pictures; it inspires the imagination to create! If you’d like, you can offer them some paper to draw what they would think would be good illustrations, and you can print out the book to bind it for them. It would be a neat treat.

Speaking of binding books… I have been looking for another hobby (Yes, another one) to keep me occupied while I sit around in the air conditioning, and I have considered learning how to hand-bind my own books! I haven’t gotten very far in the process, but it doesn’t seem too complicated, so that is why I set aside the idea of giving away hand-bound books as a reward for a certain pledge level on Patreon. I usually make all my fancy booklets and things on Powerpoint, so please keep this in mind. The booklets turn out quite nice, but the print tends to be rather small; and the book won’t be a normal-sized book. I may, in the future, consider trying for a Kickstarter fundraiser for me to self-publish via on-demand publishing or another site (which costs quite a bit of money)…but that’s for another day.

As for other things… I am recently intrigued by Hypercam and have started a series called “Watch Me Type Random Radio” (RR meaning random things) wherein I show the creative process as I sit down to type my books…and to prove to you that I am indeed writing. It is fun to watch, and I tried not to make the videos too long. They will be no longer than 20 minutes; I promise I’ll try to keep this in mind. This first one has to do with an extra story for Step by Step that basically details a story after the story. There are no spoilers really to the plot. This story was inspired by something in my life (as most of my books and especially SBS are) that literally just occurred on 7-14 (“Bahn Day” as I call it [Bastille Day]) and that subsequently slapped me silly and knocked me out of my sour mood. Here is part one of me copying the story from my notebook to the Word Document… Sorry that the audio of the CD I was playing in the background on the computer has been muted. What are you going to do? Also, because it is Hypercam, I can’t talk and have it recorded, so I type instead…as I usually tend to do when writing books.

I do believe that is all I wanted to say…I can’t recognize this website anymore O.o

Sooo how do you tag things? …Oh, I see…Sigh. Such an old bag.

I Should be Writing

Once again, we find ourselves embalmed in the summer heat, and I find myself moping around the house in the air conditioning and driving myself nuts because I have nothing to do. So, instead of driving myself insane like I always do, I have decided to change my approach and force myself to write again. You see, I have recently forced myself into believing I am incapable of doing anything, so I haven;t been writing simply because I believe all my strings of words to be unemotional nonsense worthy of being re-pulped into economical firewood rather than novels.

But I digress. Remember those “Daily Reminisce” things? I am attempting to bring that back along with my “just write” motto for a summer special upon my blog and upon the community of Kidpub, which has sweet and friendly kids that always have this magical way of making me feel special. That is to say that I shall be on this site more often and intruding your daily doses of procrastination with sad excuses of first drafts that are accompanied by new, revised second drafts. I do realize that I shouldn’t be so tough on myself, and I really need to take short stories seriously, so I am referring to these as drafts in an affectionate way rather than a depressing way. In case you haven’t noticed by now, I have a self-esteem problem.

For those unfamiliar with my terminology, let me explain briefly what “Daily Reminisce” and “just write” mean to me. Daily Reminisce is a category of posts I recently made up in which I bring back something horrible I wrote in the past and rewrite it into something better. I am expanding this concept to include the ideas I came up with that I have not written or expounded on well. “Just write” used to be my motto to force myself to type paragraphs despite my constant pessimism because–even when I believed it to stink at the time–the story would always turn out brilliant and touching. In truth, I need to be more trusting of that mysterious sixth sense known worldwide [a la mode just kidding] as “talent.”

And so this is what shall occur thusly. I am forcing myself to post something at least once a week…in place of the ramblings for now.


And just because I reference my new favorite song in the post…


Ah~ sekaiteki a ra mo-do!!


(Please don’t make fun of me XD That is literally my new favorite song besides “Waltz of the Flowers” and “Clair de Lune” and my 900 other favorite songs. It is special to me because of the wonderful instrumental and the fact that it is most probably my Francophile theme song. So that occurs. Also… [sparkle pose])

FM Day Ramblings (6-22-14)

Well, it has been 2 years since that Elusive One has taken over my mind…literally [slight smile], so I find it fitting to reminisce about that day that occurred.


FM came from thin air, as all my ideas tend to do, on the fanciful and totally ordinary day of 6-22-12. A certain video (about a certain someone whose photo appears twice in my current banner) touched me in a way I cannot explain, and FM’s tragic and enigmatic character appeared. I don’t remember if he came with an episode or whether I had thought of the ZCN/TIES episode “The Dream” before and his character appeared much later [I think that’s how it went]. Needless to say, I became utterly fascinated by FM for one, singular reason: he has the most fascinating manner of speaking I’ve ever seen, read, and had the privilege to master. So then, what was a writer to do when ideas of him came to me, and his persona was both a mystery and an occasionally-defined sense of self? I spent the next two weeks writing an in-depth character description about him! Yes, six or seven whole pages of ramblings still stand to remind me of those days when I sought ridiculously to find who that mysterious soul is. 




But it wasn’t until that following December that FM stopped bothering me with his riddles and his separation anxiety and decided he would allow me to write stories about him…in his dialog style. What resulted was “Art/l’Art” or FM SS #5, which I still love today. It was then I realized he was probably the biggest genius in the world and that I was hardly worthy of writing for him. The preceding days were only filled with the ZCN/TIES FM Saga episode descriptions and of random ramblings I wrote while listening to his soul song in desperate attempt to perfect his dialog style. In the end, FM is the subconscious (as I later learned), and boy does the subconscious know things [slight smile]. Once I learned to sit back and trust, everything went smoothly.





As time passed, FM would often nudge me and force me to write about him–a special moment of bonding he enjoyed much more than I did. He would sit and craft the words as he pondered toward the sky, and I would faint because I could never conjure such brilliance in my life. Quite often, he would stop suddenly with a “I tire of writing for now” and return the next day to pick up where we left off. Or sometimes the whole short story (which…most are only about 400 words) would be finished in a burst of philosophy, and he would leave me to process all that I just dictated. Secretly, he was teaching me both about literature analysis and also about himself. Before the days of the Elusive One, I would joke that all my novels were puzzle pieces forming a whole picture of me if you took the write pieces and put them together the right ways; that is exactly what FM does in his books–the stories and chapters are pieces of himself and his troubled soul that, when pieced together, paint a picture of him. So, naturally, I wrote more character descriptions. It even got to the point where I would infer things about other characters in their respective books (It’s easier for me to feel their emotions and thoughts, after all, for I have that odd connection with them…as though I knew all along but my eyes were once closed). And, as strange as it is to say, FM wasn’t just there to teach me about philosophy or poetry or brilliant writing or himself or analysis… He taught me things about myself, too.


I honestly don’t know where his second novel, GSI, came from. I am such an old bag, and I forget everything. But I do know that it was definitely something entirely new for me. In truth, I was concerned (not just for what it’s about and that…which shall stay secret) that FM couldn’t write a novel because his short stories are so short, and he seems to enjoy himself writing in compact spaces. [Like boxes just kidding [SHUNNED]] But, boy was I wrong [slight smile]. Naturally, with all the psychological trauma packed into that depressing but fanciful book, I received the last bits of information to write his character description and to finish it almost completely. I suppose we can’t know absolutely everything about a single person, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still care and feel for them. And…my stank. GSI practically forces you to drown in tears [SHUNNED]





Of course, I always love to write side-stories of everything–worthless stories and “auto-fanfictions” that incorporate my characters in different settings… And FM was no exception. To date, he is in at least 5 separate side-stories [slight smile]. The most current one is Francophone Friendly Restaurant (FFR), a story in which me and my Francophone friends (FM, V, BBFr) own a restaurant and constantly get on each other’s nerves. I am currently obsessed with this silly story XD


And so…where to leave off? Now, FM’s first book (which includes the ZCN/TIES side-story as well as his short stories and poems and random things) is practically almost done…a fact that makes me sad to express. GSI’s episode timeline has been done for a while now, and many of the chapters are at least part-way written. So, if FM is the most important character I have…why am I so afraid to finish his books? Why do I care so much in the first place? I honestly can’t explain why–because I don’t know why. I connect with FM; he understands me, and I understand him. Not many people get the whole “sensitives” and “nonconformists” souls out there; they are few and far-between. Plus, while it may seem like his books are supposed to force you to be a detective or an over-analyzing genius, many of the things he writes are aimed toward the soul and meant to make you feel something–anything–and to look at yourself and the world around you in a new way. I guess that is what writers are…maybe who I am. I guess…all this time, FM was really just teaching me about myself and telling me not to worry so much. To trust my heart and my subconscious, for they know way more than I ever will.







I told you I can’t draw

FM- …

Wait–how did you know it was orange?

FM- …I just knew…

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