FM Day Ramblings (6-22-14)


Well, it has been 2 years since that Elusive One has taken over my mind…literally [slight smile], so I find it fitting to reminisce about that day that occurred.

 

FM came from thin air, as all my ideas tend to do, on the fanciful and totally ordinary day of 6-22-12. A certain video (about a certain someone whose photo appears twice in my current banner) touched me in a way I cannot explain, and FM’s tragic and enigmatic character appeared. I don’t remember if he came with an episode or whether I had thought of the ZCN/TIES episode “The Dream” before and his character appeared much later [I think that’s how it went]. Needless to say, I became utterly fascinated by FM for one, singular reason: he has the most fascinating manner of speaking I’ve ever seen, read, and had the privilege to master. So then, what was a writer to do when ideas of him came to me, and his persona was both a mystery and an occasionally-defined sense of self? I spent the next two weeks writing an in-depth character description about him! Yes, six or seven whole pages of ramblings still stand to remind me of those days when I sought ridiculously to find who that mysterious soul is. 

 

[SCANNED PICTURE ONE]

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But it wasn’t until that following December that FM stopped bothering me with his riddles and his separation anxiety and decided he would allow me to write stories about him…in his dialog style. What resulted was “Art/l’Art” or FM SS #5, which I still love today. It was then I realized he was probably the biggest genius in the world and that I was hardly worthy of writing for him. The preceding days were only filled with the ZCN/TIES FM Saga episode descriptions and of random ramblings I wrote while listening to his soul song in desperate attempt to perfect his dialog style. In the end, FM is the subconscious (as I later learned), and boy does the subconscious know things [slight smile]. Once I learned to sit back and trust, everything went smoothly.

 

[PICTURE 2]

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As time passed, FM would often nudge me and force me to write about him–a special moment of bonding he enjoyed much more than I did. He would sit and craft the words as he pondered toward the sky, and I would faint because I could never conjure such brilliance in my life. Quite often, he would stop suddenly with a “I tire of writing for now” and return the next day to pick up where we left off. Or sometimes the whole short story (which…most are only about 400 words) would be finished in a burst of philosophy, and he would leave me to process all that I just dictated. Secretly, he was teaching me both about literature analysis and also about himself. Before the days of the Elusive One, I would joke that all my novels were puzzle pieces forming a whole picture of me if you took the write pieces and put them together the right ways; that is exactly what FM does in his books–the stories and chapters are pieces of himself and his troubled soul that, when pieced together, paint a picture of him. So, naturally, I wrote more character descriptions. It even got to the point where I would infer things about other characters in their respective books (It’s easier for me to feel their emotions and thoughts, after all, for I have that odd connection with them…as though I knew all along but my eyes were once closed). And, as strange as it is to say, FM wasn’t just there to teach me about philosophy or poetry or brilliant writing or himself or analysis… He taught me things about myself, too.

 

I honestly don’t know where his second novel, GSI, came from. I am such an old bag, and I forget everything. But I do know that it was definitely something entirely new for me. In truth, I was concerned (not just for what it’s about and that…which shall stay secret) that FM couldn’t write a novel because his short stories are so short, and he seems to enjoy himself writing in compact spaces. [Like boxes just kidding [SHUNNED]] But, boy was I wrong [slight smile]. Naturally, with all the psychological trauma packed into that depressing but fanciful book, I received the last bits of information to write his character description and to finish it almost completely. I suppose we can’t know absolutely everything about a single person, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still care and feel for them. And…my stank. GSI practically forces you to drown in tears [SHUNNED]

 

[PICTURE 3]

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Of course, I always love to write side-stories of everything–worthless stories and “auto-fanfictions” that incorporate my characters in different settings… And FM was no exception. To date, he is in at least 5 separate side-stories [slight smile]. The most current one is Francophone Friendly Restaurant (FFR), a story in which me and my Francophone friends (FM, V, BBFr) own a restaurant and constantly get on each other’s nerves. I am currently obsessed with this silly story XD

 

And so…where to leave off? Now, FM’s first book (which includes the ZCN/TIES side-story as well as his short stories and poems and random things) is practically almost done…a fact that makes me sad to express. GSI’s episode timeline has been done for a while now, and many of the chapters are at least part-way written. So, if FM is the most important character I have…why am I so afraid to finish his books? Why do I care so much in the first place? I honestly can’t explain why–because I don’t know why. I connect with FM; he understands me, and I understand him. Not many people get the whole “sensitives” and “nonconformists” souls out there; they are few and far-between. Plus, while it may seem like his books are supposed to force you to be a detective or an over-analyzing genius, many of the things he writes are aimed toward the soul and meant to make you feel something–anything–and to look at yourself and the world around you in a new way. I guess that is what writers are…maybe who I am. I guess…all this time, FM was really just teaching me about myself and telling me not to worry so much. To trust my heart and my subconscious, for they know way more than I ever will.

 

 

[PICTURE 4]

 

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I told you I can’t draw

FM- …

Wait–how did you know it was orange?

FM- …I just knew…

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