Just Thinking Without Any Preparation Like I Usually Do

I have been faced with a dilemma: everything I am writing currently (and by everything I mean Step by Step, the sequel to SFC, and a random side-story that is a retelling of ZCN/TIES book one) surpasses the original by such a monumental landslide that I find myself crying over the pitiful excuse of the original. Sweet Misfortunedogged (http://thingsinthefridge.wordpress.com/) helped me with the final (well, one of the “final” versions) manuscript of SFC, and–as always–his critiques made me at the same time internally reflective and slightly bemused. I admit that I am really a novice when it comes to writing in the sense of books, studying, literature, and all that fun stuff they teach you in school. In fact, I just write because the “voices in my head tell me to.” Just look at SFC! Blame Cera that the beginning makes no sense! [Terry Pose] Well, I admit that I–ahem–altered some of the lines and basically wrote it on my own sans influence and soul song from chapter 10 on, but my influence didn’t make the story any less…mystique.

You see, from the very beginning, SFC was a mystery. Cera was a mystery, subconscious influences were a mystery, writing was a mystery, my whole life was a mystery, basically! So, if you want to play Freud for a while, you could say that the mystique and macabre world of SFC mirrors my uncertainty, disconnect from reality, and my complete and utter confusion about life and all the paranormal elements involved in it. ZCN/TIES carries a lot of the same kind of feelings in book one (the 8th Grade arc) wherein I get possessed by a video game and practically lose my mind while my insane fabrications take over my reality. In fact, the whole reason I have such an identity crisis on ZCN/TIES in the first place is because of the radical changes it has seen over the course of my life. My views on myself have changed, my views on the future have changed…even my views on love and dreams have changed, for goodness’ sake (and those are main themes). How am I supposed to incorporate all these conflicting ideas, characters, and events into one storyline that makes sense? [edit: That also rhymed!]

But that’s for another post…Oh wait, no it’s not. I mentioned that I had recently written a spin-off for ZCN/TIES. Well, I find myself writing too many spin-offs for my own works–especially ZCN/TIES because of all the characters, time lapses, and events–and, more often than not, I end up adoring them. Because ZCN/TIES is my pride and joy (and the book of “my life inside and outside of my head”), I decided to include a rediculous amount of extras for the back of the book for readers to enjoy. I am going to include this spin-off, because it accomplished in a brilliant movie what I couldn’t do in all my years:

-re-tell the story of ZCN/TIES using boys. Yes, I said boys. Who knew?

-add significant amount of character development, drama, and action in such a short amount of time that it has you on edge every second

-re-tell the story of almost 256 episodes in about two hours. WHAT?????

Originally, ZCN/TIES was a paltry 30 episodes. I did nothing. Then, I expounded it. It became 966 episodes/chapters with about 24 books. Yikes. Then I shaved it down to 8 Harry Potter-sized books that covered each of the main story eras: Beginning, Ties, Later (split into two), New, Variations~Orch School Saga, Variations, and The Elusive Francois-Marcel (Yes, he’s randomly part of ZCN/TIES). I have no idea why I became so extremely verbose; maybe I was just so fixated on seeing all the characters partake in day-to-day “filler” episodes? But…to have suddenly a version that packs all of book one into a package of two hours…I practically fainted.

So now the question lies…WHERE DID I GO WRONG? Now my identity crisis is worse than I ever thought it could be! I mean…if I could make a version–with guys no less–that’s even better than the original…what’s the point of the original? Sigh. I love Z/T too much to kill it; it would be the bane of my childhood, which is already gone to the wind. I just wonder how I’m going to live with myself knowing that I think the new version, which I slaved over all December (polishing chapters and tying up lose ends) is actually a worthless pile of folderol.

And SFC! Sigh. That poor, poor novel. I felt good about it until I gave it some thought (no offense, Misfortunedogged, but you made me feel like it was horrendous; it’s not hard to make me feel that way). I delved into who CB is, and she finally agreed to be reasonable. Maybe the idea is that she, like me, just doesn’t care about this plane of reality. But then, wouldn’t she be like Mariah? Wouldn’t she revel in the idea that she dreamed of as a child–finally getting lost into a fantasy anime world? Or is that all nonsense to her now? She didn’t realize important ideas until college, which is where she really grew up (Why, yes; I am writing an SFC spin-off where they all go to the same arts college). In SFC, she doesn’t care less about anything, so she basically had no real transformation at all besides her “Oh, I guess change is OK. Sometimes.” It’s not until college that she gets beat in the head that life and striving for greatness and whatever isn’t just a glide; she really has to work and to care. Unlike those stupid bakeries with cake mix–[pantos duct-taping mouth]

[rips off duct tape] Sigh. So, there’s the rub.

Well, on to the entirely different subject. Step by Step (SBS) is the sequel to SFC. It has nothing to do with SFC besides providing a lovely down-to-Earth glance at Mariah Fomigante, who has some secret troubles of her own. Because Elaine, the main character, becomes best friends with Mariah, we get to see her as an actual human being and not a “fairy/anime-like creature.” And, as per advice, I am trying to make it like an anime light novel (probably unsuccessfully). But the story is just so much better. The drama is insane, the character moments make me deliriously happy, and it reminds me so much of my 2011 escapades much more than SFC ever will (besides the confusing and macabre aspects). It’s like putting a telescope into my old school and watching a few days pass by. Obviously, Elaine doesn’t see the world like Cera does, so everything makes sense from the get-go. She also gets into many problems and troubles of her own, despite being shy and quiet. In fact, the whole driving force of the plot is her being–wait. That would be a spoiler, wouldn’t it? …Pfff. I already gave it away. She goes nuts just like I did! Except it’s a quiet insanity; she suffers silently until the end, where everything is resolved–for real this time. The storyline follows this moment of horrible revelation, too: the story starts out slow, suddenly gets crazy, and drags on forever until the end. And by “drags on forever,” I mean “drags on forever with neener dramatic moments and fun school stuff.” And, to abolish the “only two characters in the whole book” idea, some other friends join the group (guess who?). Plus, Elaine has a younger brother, Corey, who is an important part of her life and story.  [Hey, that rhymed]

So, what I’m trying to say is that SBS surpasses SFC in all the right ways: it feels more like an anime, it explains and exposits everything in a clear way, it focuses on the characters, bringing them alive using foreshadow, symbolism, and all my favorite spices; and everything just feels so…nice. So natural, flowery, and heart-warmy like a nice bowl of soup on a freezing day. SFC is a sudden ride on a crazy train–just like ZCN/TIES.

So, again, where did I go wrong?




Welcome to the end of this post. This is the obligatory marketing section. Please feel free to roll your eyes or mumble under your breath, “Here we go again.”

I write in my spare time. I begin to suspect it may not be as special as I think it is, but alas.


If you really want to read SFC, be my guest. The real title is Subtle, Flowing Changes. I’d prefer you read this (http://figment.com/books/735774-Step-by-Step)  first

I also have a blog…which you are reading right now…in which things occur.



I also have a food blog, which will be blank until, say…Oh, I dunno…I finally remember to buy some chocolate batons! Oh, I gave it away [covers mouth]



Future posts:

*COMING NEXT* ZCN/TIES: Tons of Info, Lots of Characters, Much Identity Crisis

*boxing for later* Research? Nonsense! (Except if I think it’s fun)

*boxing for later* Why I Just Want to Publish FM’s Books and Give Up [slight smile]

*coming soon* Let’s Talk About Subconscious Influences & ~CRK’s Ridiculous Sentimentality and Romanticism

*boxing for later* The Finer Things in Life… (Canadian maple syrup, French food, and Japanese anime–mostly anime in relationship to my writing)

*coming eventually soon* Spin-offs??? Auto-fanfictions?????  Why Do I like to write about my own stuff?

If you have any ideas…please let me know in ye olde comment section below, and I’m sure the Pony Express will get it to me on time. After all, my internet is actually listening to me now–[computer dies]  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


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