So, as I look forward to becomming an author [finally], my worries escalate more than my hopeful joys. Not only have I finished my first novel and etched myself in literary stone, but I’ve also tossed my name into oblivion and painted a façade for myself. Such is life. And, of course, as a pessimist, I tend to dwell on the negative.


I think I was born to be invisible. Perhaps that’s a good thing (for it’s kept me out of trouble and made me an unbelievable unblemished individual); but, I tend to think of it as a curse. I was never meant to be popular; every time I would write and post something, no one would read it. Even the ones who did would never comment. Even the ones who commented would never get it or care. Even my first fan letter has quickly fizzled to nothing–

[beats self] Stop being so stankin negative!!!

Anyway…I was destined to be invisible. So, naturally, it stinks to be an author cursed with an ephemeral and rather unexciting persona. There is honestly nothing intriguing about me other than the fact I have multiple talents, that I have a deep connection with the subconscious and dreams, and that I have a deep understanding and sympathy to the emotions of people and a never-ending fascination with people’s individual psychologies and perceptions of life. Therefore, I write about these things. Therefore, no one cares.

I’m so old-fashioned and Romantic. I’ve come to decide that I love everything no one else does, and I devote my time to discover these so-called dying arts and few representations to give them even the slightest flicker of life again. So, I guess…you could say that means I’m learning to embrace my invisibility by latching myself to other “nonexistant” individuals and groups. Hmm. Another brilliant deduction that my subconscious figured out for me. If it weren’t for the subconscious, I’m sure I’d be the biggest idiot the world would have ever known…and will ever know.

Still…where do I fit in in this big, bad marketing world where we all turn ourselves into walking billboards with multiple masks? Is it too much to ask for us to be ourselves? That’s all I want to be…I just want people to accept me for who I am…Is that so much to ask?

I guess I’ll find out when I have 3 or more books self-published or when my first publishing agent comes knocking at my door, asking for the world’s brilliant genius who can bring life to the unknown and connect with the hearts of others.


Until then…keep being you. Whoever you are, someone is bound to understand you. Even if it’s just your mom or dad XD Or even a guinea pig…

Or a character.



[–___– Another day wasted without any writing…Arg!! Look how good this is!!! [bangs head against wall]]


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